The New Republic

In South Africa, Missing My Favorite Univision Announcer

July 9, 2010
One of the only bad parts about being here in South Africa for the World Cup is missing out on Univision’s Spanish-language coverage.

I should probably note that I don’t speak Spanish. Not fluently, at least. But I vastly prefer watching my fútbol en español. And being here, subjected to the dry and ramblingly irrelevant South African announcers on the local SABC and Supersport stations has reminded me just how superior the voices of Mexican television are on the global scale. Few if any commentators possess the passion and raw vocal talent of Univision’s Pablo Ramirez, arguably the most entertaining soccer announcer calling the game today.

Does England Just Need a Good Shag?

June 21, 2010
Things are not looking good for England. Two draws against opponents many in the global football community had quickly written off. The passes aren’t coming through, the runs are being cut off, the set pieces are blasting over the cross-bar. Exasperation was clear and bright red on the faces of players during Friday’s match against unexpectedly impressive Algeria. They were snippy with each other, with the officials and with their coach. Their game could simply be described as frustrating.

While I don’t want to discount Algeria’s quality of play, I think England’s poor performance in the match and the World Cup as a whole can be blamed on Coach Fabio Capello’s overzealous coaching tactics. Not on the field, but in the bedroom.

Capello has forbidden his players from having sex during the World Cup. Not even "Nice goal" sex or "Sorry about the yellow card" sex. And if you’ve seen some of the wives and girlfriends these guys have, you’ll join me in wishing them the worst of luck in what is, hopefully for them, their last match of the 2010 World Cup this Wednesday.